hmmm, so, wanna know how did the whole diet plan thing go? want riggghtt? well, it sorta failed. and i thought of making attempt two. Very unfortunately, that did not kick start. Heck, it there wasnt even a start! lol. (a sad lol indeed)
Anyways. I decided to give myself a mani and pedicure after passing by a random nail studio on some other random day. I figured it's time for a change in colours. I mean, red nails have always been my fav. But now, i see it like, everywhere :( No offence but it doesnt look good on everybody! Dont just follow trends ><" That being said, i decided to put on splashes of new colours. I opt for purple! Unfortunatley after rumaging thru the whole cupboard of nail polishes (yes, a whole cupboard full!) my luck just wasnt there. The dark royal purple shade i wanted must have already finished long time ago :( and i didnt realise or remember to get replacements! Thus, the next best thing was called for. violet. Unfortunately, after asking all boys.. they said it looked PINK -__-"" fyi, a ligt shade of violet is not pink! the one and only person who got the colour right, was my dad. who is colourblind! ><" how ironic. Done with the manicure, i decided to change my toe colour as well. The colour i chose was teal. yes, TEAL. and very very obviously, guys again think it's green! sigh. now people who can see both my colours in action would think im a weirdo. pink fingernails and green toenails? :( but after all my effort into them i dont wanna wipe it off. so i'll stick to only displaying my green toenails in houses. and not malls. be ready to see me in covered up shoes for some time ;D
Friday, July 3, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
love?
have you ever been in love? many have said they have. What exactly is love anyways? In my opinion i think some times you only realize you're in love when you dont get it. Cause for some, love is when they wake up every morning, thinking of that special someone of theirs being in bed with another man, the wrong one. And all they can do about it is hope they're happy. I guess that's one explanation of it right?
Love seems to be a never ending question for humankind since the time adam and eve was made i reckon. If it wasnt for that sinful fruit i guess now, we'll never really know that true and actual meaning of love until we meet the one creator who created us huh. That is if we do get to meet him and not Lucifer, aka Satan. blehhh.
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It's been 2 months and i've still got no job. I'm just rotting arent i? :x wheeee.
Love seems to be a never ending question for humankind since the time adam and eve was made i reckon. If it wasnt for that sinful fruit i guess now, we'll never really know that true and actual meaning of love until we meet the one creator who created us huh. That is if we do get to meet him and not Lucifer, aka Satan. blehhh.
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It's been 2 months and i've still got no job. I'm just rotting arent i? :x wheeee.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
ergh. desperado.
I decided to want to blog today. And typical me, as usual... i forgot the email to this blogspot account. Thank God for computer cache memories. Unfortunately, they dont remember passwords a pro and a con at the very same time. :/ Thus, that being said, it took me a whole 30 minutes (pardon the exaggeration but it felt like it) i finally managed to crack my min open and dig out my password from one of the many veins that carried information. After that the mood to blog just .. went *pwoof*
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oh, wait! it's back now. How awezom is my mood swings? (: lol. again, another pro and con in the same time span.
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So, i feel fat. And this time, i meant it. and im gonna actually work on it. We all know size 12 is not fat says Meg Cabot (the author of the book if you didnt already know), or size 14 is not fat either like she says. But still, she lived with the mat-sallehs (no offense intended). Half the people there are either super skinny or super .. obese? Cutting to the point, again, i feel FAT. So this time, i whipped up a diet plan as easy as whipping up egg yolks with a sieve a very very simple task that i still cant seem to do (yes, i meant both the diet and the yolk thing). So, here's the plan.
Monday was yesterday. All went well except the breakfast part where i gagged non stop. Somehow the oats i made turned out half cooked and tasted well, plain. Attempted to add raisins from dubai supposedly super sweet and yummy. Had to throw them out in the end cause the oats just sucked. Made me a tuna sandwich instead. Breakfast got pushed back to 10.30 :/ .. Lunch time was Chicken rice cause i realised i forgot to buy chicken for my porridge. Finally, the last damn wrong thing was i missed the gym class due to slacking. - edited : another wrong thing, i slept at 3 am -
I'd rate my monday a 6 over the perfect 10. - edited : rating drops to 4/10 -
Tuesday is today .. Everything got worse -_-" And they usually say 'tomorrow will be a better day' .. I woke up at 9.30 and realised, i've just missed breakfast AND gym. There goes 3 classes of my life. Ate my breakfast at 10 am today. And Lunch was at 12. For that, i had Stiploin with sweet potatoes and a strawberry and banana milkshake. That was the breaking straw of the diet -_-' .. in my defense, bananas are healthy! (: Had late tea time treats at 5 ish pm. Gonna have me my tuna sandwich for dinner (: somehow im hooked on it. I hope it makes me thinner. *fingers crossed*
Ratings for tuesday is a bigger drop to 2 over 10 for not following anything! :/
I wonder if i can last the week.
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oh, wait! it's back now. How awezom is my mood swings? (: lol. again, another pro and con in the same time span.
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..
So, i feel fat. And this time, i meant it. and im gonna actually work on it. We all know size 12 is not fat says Meg Cabot (the author of the book if you didnt already know), or size 14 is not fat either like she says. But still, she lived with the mat-sallehs (no offense intended). Half the people there are either super skinny or super .. obese? Cutting to the point, again, i feel FAT. So this time, i whipped up a diet plan as easy as whipping up egg yolks with a sieve a very very simple task that i still cant seem to do (yes, i meant both the diet and the yolk thing). So, here's the plan.
Monday was yesterday. All went well except the breakfast part where i gagged non stop. Somehow the oats i made turned out half cooked and tasted well, plain. Attempted to add raisins from dubai supposedly super sweet and yummy. Had to throw them out in the end cause the oats just sucked. Made me a tuna sandwich instead. Breakfast got pushed back to 10.30 :/ .. Lunch time was Chicken rice cause i realised i forgot to buy chicken for my porridge. Finally, the last damn wrong thing was i missed the gym class due to slacking. - edited : another wrong thing, i slept at 3 am -I'd rate my monday a 6 over the perfect 10. - edited : rating drops to 4/10 -
Tuesday is today .. Everything got worse -_-" And they usually say 'tomorrow will be a better day' .. I woke up at 9.30 and realised, i've just missed breakfast AND gym. There goes 3 classes of my life. Ate my breakfast at 10 am today. And Lunch was at 12. For that, i had Stiploin with sweet potatoes and a strawberry and banana milkshake. That was the breaking straw of the diet -_-' .. in my defense, bananas are healthy! (: Had late tea time treats at 5 ish pm. Gonna have me my tuna sandwich for dinner (: somehow im hooked on it. I hope it makes me thinner. *fingers crossed*
Ratings for tuesday is a bigger drop to 2 over 10 for not following anything! :/
I wonder if i can last the week.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
friend or foe?
i hate facebook. yes, i do. i really really do. Somehow, despite hearing quite a number of people agreeing with me on this, they themselves seem to have taken part in the facebook craze. (no offense intended to anyone) why do i hate facebook? well, many must know, my memory is just as good as a goldfishes'. Very obviously, i wouldnt want to be insulting myself, thus im merely stating a fact as it is. In my point of view, i only remember those people of which i think is important to me. Is that not what life is about? remembering the good stuff and forgetting the bad.
I for one do not want to be rekindled with my past foes. Now tell me, why would a person want to acknowledge the presence of one who has made the good life of a simple person slightly more complicated what yet to add these people as 'friends' ? I dont see the relevence in adding everybody you know (or even dont for some) for the sake of being popular. I honestly dont even get why some people who clearly despises my existance clicked on the add friend icon on my page.. WHY? i honestly do not get it :/
Besides the foes. how about those who so desperately wants to be friends? There's been a few who just some how self invited themselves into my life. Yes, i admit i shouldnt have replied to their innocent greetings from the beginning but yet, how was i to know that i didnt know them when here i was thinking "oh another person that i've forgotten from my past" ... litle did i know.. well. you know how the story ends :/
Im just semi ranting. cause i keep getting distracted by MSN chats as well as my poker :/ yes on fb. the only reason i use the damn fb is for three games. -_- im lame like that. Well, facebook rants beats my semi mid life crisis of being over weight i suppose :c Thus, semi facebook rant it shall be.
I for one do not want to be rekindled with my past foes. Now tell me, why would a person want to acknowledge the presence of one who has made the good life of a simple person slightly more complicated what yet to add these people as 'friends' ? I dont see the relevence in adding everybody you know (or even dont for some) for the sake of being popular. I honestly dont even get why some people who clearly despises my existance clicked on the add friend icon on my page.. WHY? i honestly do not get it :/
Besides the foes. how about those who so desperately wants to be friends? There's been a few who just some how self invited themselves into my life. Yes, i admit i shouldnt have replied to their innocent greetings from the beginning but yet, how was i to know that i didnt know them when here i was thinking "oh another person that i've forgotten from my past" ... litle did i know.. well. you know how the story ends :/
Im just semi ranting. cause i keep getting distracted by MSN chats as well as my poker :/ yes on fb. the only reason i use the damn fb is for three games. -_- im lame like that. Well, facebook rants beats my semi mid life crisis of being over weight i suppose :c Thus, semi facebook rant it shall be.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
ridiculous contradiction
It's weird. i've left xanga for so long now and well, all the hype about having a new blog to blog in with privacy just died. Also, seeing how the privacy makes me feel a whole lot more anti social now that not many people actually knows about this blog... it's so annoying how i always want something i cant have and when i do somehow miraculously get it, i dont want it anymore :(
well.. another example is to how i compliant non stop about me myself and i being antisocial. but yet i keep on turning down all the gathering yumcha and going out invites. wtheck is wrong with me?! O_O .. i really am begining to feel weird in my own skin. sigh. it's like i really do have that thought and really want to put effor into doing things with passion and all.. but the moment i start or even think of starting all that hype and adrenaline rush just dies...
ahhh!!
i really want to laugh so much like i really mean it. dont get me wrong, i laugh as much as possible and it's really easy. But how many of those times does the smile i plaster on my face is actually real? all that crap about how "my eyes show my try smiles" or "i smile with my eyes" is just crap -_- cause i dont think i've actually been very happy these days. I think sadness grows with age :/
Speaking of age. I know, it's still kinda far but i literally have no plans for my 21st birthday :x at the rate that im going i'd prolly be spending it alone at home ... watching some sappy chinese drama/anime that will make me cry my eyes out and feel even more emotional -_-" ridiculous.
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Another 2 weeks (less actually) and it'll be the holidays already, and honestly... i dont know what am i going to do :( everyone's asking me if im gonna work or go on holiday or do something but im all like "ohh yeahh im just gonna rest first" bullshit. i have no plans on it thats why -_- whatever happened to me. when i was younger i always filld myself with things to do. definitely no school work but it's always going out or working freelancing or just doing more active things. heck! i even did sports. now all i do is sit home in front of the computer typing away on my blog grumbling about my life -_- it's is a big change isnt it.
And everytime i do this i think and tell myself i want to change, im going to change, i must change! and then you see me repeating a somewhat similar entry about me feeling lous about myself -_- what is wrong with me?! really ... bah!
Afater all this thoughts i've yet to even start on my work. i remember saying ONE day, one day to rest. and it's now the THIRD day or doing meaningless nothings -_- this is getting from worse to... much much worse? bah.
well.. another example is to how i compliant non stop about me myself and i being antisocial. but yet i keep on turning down all the gathering yumcha and going out invites. wtheck is wrong with me?! O_O .. i really am begining to feel weird in my own skin. sigh. it's like i really do have that thought and really want to put effor into doing things with passion and all.. but the moment i start or even think of starting all that hype and adrenaline rush just dies...
ahhh!!
i really want to laugh so much like i really mean it. dont get me wrong, i laugh as much as possible and it's really easy. But how many of those times does the smile i plaster on my face is actually real? all that crap about how "my eyes show my try smiles" or "i smile with my eyes" is just crap -_- cause i dont think i've actually been very happy these days. I think sadness grows with age :/
Speaking of age. I know, it's still kinda far but i literally have no plans for my 21st birthday :x at the rate that im going i'd prolly be spending it alone at home ... watching some sappy chinese drama/anime that will make me cry my eyes out and feel even more emotional -_-" ridiculous.
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Another 2 weeks (less actually) and it'll be the holidays already, and honestly... i dont know what am i going to do :( everyone's asking me if im gonna work or go on holiday or do something but im all like "ohh yeahh im just gonna rest first" bullshit. i have no plans on it thats why -_- whatever happened to me. when i was younger i always filld myself with things to do. definitely no school work but it's always going out or working freelancing or just doing more active things. heck! i even did sports. now all i do is sit home in front of the computer typing away on my blog grumbling about my life -_- it's is a big change isnt it.
And everytime i do this i think and tell myself i want to change, im going to change, i must change! and then you see me repeating a somewhat similar entry about me feeling lous about myself -_- what is wrong with me?! really ... bah!
Afater all this thoughts i've yet to even start on my work. i remember saying ONE day, one day to rest. and it's now the THIRD day or doing meaningless nothings -_- this is getting from worse to... much much worse? bah.
grumblings
ahhhhhh!!!
Supposed to have started on the model today T_T *cries* instead what i did was drama-ed. the whole friggin day ..... oh my God.
How to finish the model lahhhhh. I dont even have enough supplies. and tomorrow's a saturday! Classic Art is closed ><" boohoo. i guess i'll just have to make do. *lalala mode*
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hmmm. it's the 17th of April today. My four months break officially starts on May 1st. i wonder... is the holiday trip still going to work out? :/ Also, that just leaves ... 13 days left O_O OMFG. it's happening so fast. Dear kamizama please, let me pass year ONE. pleeeeaseee.
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I cannot imagine failing, if i do i think im just gonna stop studying all together ><" ... *scary thoughts*
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Im tired enough for tonight. im hitting the bed now. toodles~
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some randome pictures before i run off to bed :p
Supposed to have started on the model today T_T *cries* instead what i did was drama-ed. the whole friggin day ..... oh my God.
How to finish the model lahhhhh. I dont even have enough supplies. and tomorrow's a saturday! Classic Art is closed ><" boohoo. i guess i'll just have to make do. *lalala mode*
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hmmm. it's the 17th of April today. My four months break officially starts on May 1st. i wonder... is the holiday trip still going to work out? :/ Also, that just leaves ... 13 days left O_O OMFG. it's happening so fast. Dear kamizama please, let me pass year ONE. pleeeeaseee.
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I cannot imagine failing, if i do i think im just gonna stop studying all together ><" ... *scary thoughts*
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Im tired enough for tonight. im hitting the bed now. toodles~
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some randome pictures before i run off to bed :p
Friday, April 17, 2009
lonely night twist
hehehe. was about to fall asleep. when i decided to browse thru some pictures. bear with me, im feeling lonely tonight! ;)
i cant believe he fell for me <3
heeeeeeeeee...
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on a random note, i have another reader! :D :D :D whee. a good night indeed :D
i cant believe he fell for me <3
heeeeeeeeee...
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on a random note, i have another reader! :D :D :D whee. a good night indeed :D
pieces
it's been a while...
sometimes im just so lazy to write my feelings asd thoughts down as they tend to change so constantly. boo.
Anyways. it's an offday for me. the boy is out of town. and i just handed in the development model which passed on to the final. so today is just an off day. did everything at my own will. i .. went.. to.. the gym. LOL. it's been a week since i've been there. ergh. i dont think im losing weight at all. i've been pigging out like mad. from fast food joints to home made fatness :( this all comes from living alone i guess :/ but still.... sigh. i feel a bit the hopeless at the moment :(
anyways, gym was packed today there were some new trainers *shiny winking eyes* there but the amount of college girls has shot up. haha..
There's this pair of girls they look exctly like sisters but well, by the way they talk you can tell they're just best friends. heee. and there's this vibe around them being so wannabe-ish. they gossip gossip and gossip waaay more that actually using the machines and stuff. but the moment any trainers approach them... hoho, their voice totally changes to some cutsey high pitched tone. bahhh. *eyes rolling*
Besides them, there's this girl. oh yeahhh this girl i dont know why she even bothers to come to the gym. she's new. brand new. on the first day she joined i was there. she was wearing a long flowy picnic like skirt, all dressed up indeed. just not for gym -.-" the next day, she came fully cladded with very little clothing. her "gym pants" were so micro mini her butt was showing and it looks squeezed out as the pants were tight. And you know those sports bras that you wear beneath shirts? i think she didnt understand that concept as she just wore it up front without covering up. -_-" you can imagine the guys staring. a girl coming to gym looking like she's wearing some kinky lingerie =.= .. astonishing. The next day she came. whaaa. i almost died laughing. it was a contrast to what she wore the day before. this time, she was fully covered up. Dressed in a wind breaker, the big type ones with baggy loose pants and some thight baby tee. real contrast. hmm. oh well.
my gym really lack hot chics. then again im kinda glad for that :p
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i see you happily flirting with her. i see you being happy with her. i dont mind .. really, i dont. im glad you finally found someone. someone that shows me you've moved on. someone to end our lingering past. but yet, why does that lead to you not being able to even look at me? i know our past isnt as sweet as candy flossings but still, we had our moments. are you just gonna let them go without looking back? sigh. our polonged silence and my stalking ways have gotten the best of be... im glad i dont think of you much no more. but sometimes on onely nights you stick out like a sore thumb in my blissful memories of the past... i really wish our fate would be different after those five long hard years of ups and downs.
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i miss my boy. am i weird? am i too clingy? :/ boo. i guess i am .. maybe it's in my nature to just cling on to the ones i love so dear. cling on so tight that they suffocate and hate me. heeeeeee... i wish i wasnt like that. i want to be mature. mature enough to know when to hold on and when to let go. i long to be independant. in ways that i am definitely not now.. i crave for something to fill this awkward void. i dont even know why it's there or what would fill it.. i just want to fill it up..
sometimes im just so lazy to write my feelings asd thoughts down as they tend to change so constantly. boo.
Anyways. it's an offday for me. the boy is out of town. and i just handed in the development model which passed on to the final. so today is just an off day. did everything at my own will. i .. went.. to.. the gym. LOL. it's been a week since i've been there. ergh. i dont think im losing weight at all. i've been pigging out like mad. from fast food joints to home made fatness :( this all comes from living alone i guess :/ but still.... sigh. i feel a bit the hopeless at the moment :(
anyways, gym was packed today there were some new trainers *shiny winking eyes* there but the amount of college girls has shot up. haha..
There's this pair of girls they look exctly like sisters but well, by the way they talk you can tell they're just best friends. heee. and there's this vibe around them being so wannabe-ish. they gossip gossip and gossip waaay more that actually using the machines and stuff. but the moment any trainers approach them... hoho, their voice totally changes to some cutsey high pitched tone. bahhh. *eyes rolling*
Besides them, there's this girl. oh yeahhh this girl i dont know why she even bothers to come to the gym. she's new. brand new. on the first day she joined i was there. she was wearing a long flowy picnic like skirt, all dressed up indeed. just not for gym -.-" the next day, she came fully cladded with very little clothing. her "gym pants" were so micro mini her butt was showing and it looks squeezed out as the pants were tight. And you know those sports bras that you wear beneath shirts? i think she didnt understand that concept as she just wore it up front without covering up. -_-" you can imagine the guys staring. a girl coming to gym looking like she's wearing some kinky lingerie =.= .. astonishing. The next day she came. whaaa. i almost died laughing. it was a contrast to what she wore the day before. this time, she was fully covered up. Dressed in a wind breaker, the big type ones with baggy loose pants and some thight baby tee. real contrast. hmm. oh well.
my gym really lack hot chics. then again im kinda glad for that :p
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i see you happily flirting with her. i see you being happy with her. i dont mind .. really, i dont. im glad you finally found someone. someone that shows me you've moved on. someone to end our lingering past. but yet, why does that lead to you not being able to even look at me? i know our past isnt as sweet as candy flossings but still, we had our moments. are you just gonna let them go without looking back? sigh. our polonged silence and my stalking ways have gotten the best of be... im glad i dont think of you much no more. but sometimes on onely nights you stick out like a sore thumb in my blissful memories of the past... i really wish our fate would be different after those five long hard years of ups and downs.
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i miss my boy. am i weird? am i too clingy? :/ boo. i guess i am .. maybe it's in my nature to just cling on to the ones i love so dear. cling on so tight that they suffocate and hate me. heeeeeee... i wish i wasnt like that. i want to be mature. mature enough to know when to hold on and when to let go. i long to be independant. in ways that i am definitely not now.. i crave for something to fill this awkward void. i dont even know why it's there or what would fill it.. i just want to fill it up..
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Andrew.
it's weird. i havent been into facebook for ages. make that at all. not until i found out sha actually added me as a friend.. in college. LOL. went in to approve her and well.. went into stalker mode.
then it happened.
i stumbled onto a dedication page to someone by the name of andrew. he has passed on. i didnt know him, but he was a close friend to many of the people i knew. and he looked very much like a happy go lucky and playful guy. he was pretty good looking too. and the thing is, he was born in my year! that would make him, my age. but his fate wasnt as good as something went wrong, and from my stalkerish research it happened during his gym. and now he has moved on into another world. i watched his memorial clip on youtube. and then i wondered. if i was to die... would i be remembered like that? :/
life's just so short and im wasing it being antisocial and just doing my own things.
sometimes i wonder if i've done enoguh.
sometimes i wonder why i let myself go into the bitter stage.
sometimes i wonder what made me like this.
sometimes i wish i hadnt changed.
i dont know. maybe i should just try to lead a better life.
*confused and lost*
bah. im off to actually do work. it's time for a change. i hope.
then it happened.
i stumbled onto a dedication page to someone by the name of andrew. he has passed on. i didnt know him, but he was a close friend to many of the people i knew. and he looked very much like a happy go lucky and playful guy. he was pretty good looking too. and the thing is, he was born in my year! that would make him, my age. but his fate wasnt as good as something went wrong, and from my stalkerish research it happened during his gym. and now he has moved on into another world. i watched his memorial clip on youtube. and then i wondered. if i was to die... would i be remembered like that? :/
life's just so short and im wasing it being antisocial and just doing my own things.
sometimes i wonder if i've done enoguh.
sometimes i wonder why i let myself go into the bitter stage.
sometimes i wonder what made me like this.
sometimes i wish i hadnt changed.
i dont know. maybe i should just try to lead a better life.
*confused and lost*
bah. im off to actually do work. it's time for a change. i hope.
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