Got Chips?

being artsy

2009-07-03T18:53:00.002+08:00

hmmm, so, wanna know how did the whole diet plan thing go? want riggghtt? well, it sorta failed. and i thought of making attempt two. Very unfortunately, that did not kick start. Heck, it there wasnt even a start! lol. (a sad lol indeed)

Anyways. I decided to give myself a mani and pedicure after passing by a random nail studio on some other random day. I figured it's time for a change in colours. I mean, red nails have always been my fav. But now, i see it like, everywhere :( No offence but it doesnt look good on everybody! Dont just follow trends ><" That being said, i decided to put on splashes of new colours. I opt for purple! Unfortunatley after rumaging thru the whole cupboard of nail polishes (yes, a whole cupboard full!) my luck just wasnt there. The dark royal purple shade i wanted must have already finished long time ago :( and i didnt realise or remember to get replacements! Thus, the next best thing was called for. violet. Unfortunately, after asking all boys.. they said it looked PINK -__-"" fyi, a ligt shade of violet is not pink! the one and only person who got the colour right, was my dad. who is colourblind! ><" how ironic. Done with the manicure, i decided to change my toe colour as well. The colour i chose was teal. yes, TEAL. and very very obviously, guys again think it's green! sigh. now people who can see both my colours in action would think im a weirdo. pink fingernails and green toenails? :( but after all my effort into them i dont wanna wipe it off. so i'll stick to only displaying my green toenails in houses. and not malls. be ready to see me in covered up shoes for some time ;D

love?

2009-06-27T13:24:00.002+08:00

have you ever been in love? many have said they have. What exactly is love anyways? In my opinion i think some times you only realize you're in love when you dont get it. Cause for some, love is when they wake up every morning, thinking of that special someone of theirs being in bed with another man, the wrong one. And all they can do about it is hope they're happy. I guess that's one explanation of it right?

Love seems to be a never ending question for humankind since the time adam and eve was made i reckon. If it wasnt for that sinful fruit i guess now, we'll never really know that true and actual meaning of love until we meet the one creator who created us huh. That is if we do get to meet him and not Lucifer, aka Satan. blehhh.

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It's been 2 months and i've still got no job. I'm just rotting arent i? :x wheeee.

ergh. desperado.

2009-06-23T18:53:00.006+08:00

I decided to want to blog today. And typical me, as usual... i forgot the email to this blogspot account. Thank God for computer cache memories. Unfortunately, they dont remember passwords a pro and a con at the very same time. :/ Thus, that being said, it took me a whole 30 minutes (pardon the exaggeration but it felt like it) i finally managed to crack my min open and dig out my password from one of the many veins that carried information. After that the mood to blog just .. went *pwoof*

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oh, wait! it's back now. How awezom is my mood swings? (: lol. again, another pro and con in the same time span.

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So, i feel fat. And this time, i meant it. and im gonna actually work on it. We all know size 12 is not fat says Meg Cabot (the author of the book if you didnt already know), or size 14 is not fat either like she says. But still, she lived with the mat-sallehs (no offense intended). Half the people there are either super skinny or super .. obese? Cutting to the point, again, i feel FAT. So this time, i whipped up a diet plan as easy as whipping up egg yolks with a sieve a very very simple task that i still cant seem to do (yes, i meant both the diet and the yolk thing). So, here's the plan.

Monday was yesterday. All went well except the breakfast part where i gagged non stop. Somehow the oats i made turned out half cooked and tasted well, plain. Attempted to add raisins from dubai supposedly super sweet and yummy. Had to throw them out in the end cause the oats just sucked. Made me a tuna sandwich instead. Breakfast got pushed back to 10.30 :/ .. Lunch time was Chicken rice cause i realised i forgot to buy chicken for my porridge. Finally, the last damn wrong thing was i missed the gym class due to slacking. - edited : another wrong thing, i slept at 3 am -

I'd rate my monday a 6 over the perfect 10. - edited : rating drops to 4/10 -

Tuesday is today .. Everything got worse -_-" And they usually say 'tomorrow will be a better day' .. I woke up at 9.30 and realised, i've just missed breakfast AND gym. There goes 3 classes of my life. Ate my breakfast at 10 am today. And Lunch was at 12. For that, i had Stiploin with sweet potatoes and a strawberry and banana milkshake. That was the breaking straw of the diet -_-' .. in my defense, bananas are healthy! (: Had late tea time treats at 5 ish pm. Gonna have me my tuna sandwich for dinner (: somehow im hooked on it. I hope it makes me thinner. *fingers crossed*

Ratings for tuesday is a bigger drop to 2 over 10 for not following anything! :/

I wonder if i can last the week.

friend or foe?

2009-06-18T03:23:00.001+08:00

i hate facebook. yes, i do. i really really do. Somehow, despite hearing quite a number of people agreeing with me on this, they themselves seem to have taken part in the facebook craze. (no offense intended to anyone) why do i hate facebook? well, many must know, my memory is just as good as a goldfishes'. Very obviously, i wouldnt want to be insulting myself, thus im merely stating a fact as it is. In my point of view, i only remember those people of which i think is important to me. Is that not what life is about? remembering the good stuff and forgetting the bad.

I for one do not want to be rekindled with my past foes. Now tell me, why would a person want to acknowledge the presence of one who has made the good life of a simple person slightly more complicated what yet to add these people as 'friends' ? I dont see the relevence in adding everybody you know (or even dont for some) for the sake of being popular. I honestly dont even get why some people who clearly despises my existance clicked on the add friend icon on my page.. WHY? i honestly do not get it :/

Besides the foes. how about those who so desperately wants to be friends? There's been a few who just some how self invited themselves into my life. Yes, i admit i shouldnt have replied to their innocent greetings from the beginning but yet, how was i to know that i didnt know them when here i was thinking "oh another person that i've forgotten from my past" ... litle did i know.. well. you know how the story ends :/

Im just semi ranting. cause i keep getting distracted by MSN chats as well as my poker :/ yes on fb. the only reason i use the damn fb is for three games. -_- im lame like that. Well, facebook rants beats my semi mid life crisis of being over weight i suppose :c Thus, semi facebook rant it shall be.

ridiculous contradiction

2009-04-18T19:05:00.003+08:00

It's weird. i've left xanga for so long now and well, all the hype about having a new blog to blog in with privacy just died. Also, seeing how the privacy makes me feel a whole lot more anti social now that not many people actually knows about this blog... it's so annoying how i always want something i cant have and when i do somehow miraculously get it, i dont want it anymore :(

well.. another example is to how i compliant non stop about me myself and i being antisocial. but yet i keep on turning down all the gathering yumcha and going out invites. wtheck is wrong with me?! O_O .. i really am begining to feel weird in my own skin. sigh. it's like i really do have that thought and really want to put effor into doing things with passion and all.. but the moment i start or even think of starting all that hype and adrenaline rush just dies...

ahhh!!

i really want to laugh so much like i really mean it. dont get me wrong, i laugh as much as possible and it's really easy. But how many of those times does the smile i plaster on my face is actually real? all that crap about how "my eyes show my try smiles" or "i smile with my eyes" is just crap -_- cause i dont think i've actually been very happy these days. I think sadness grows with age :/

Speaking of age. I know, it's still kinda far but i literally have no plans for my 21st birthday :x at the rate that im going i'd prolly be spending it alone at home ... watching some sappy chinese drama/anime that will make me cry my eyes out and feel even more emotional -_-" ridiculous.

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Another 2 weeks (less actually) and it'll be the holidays already, and honestly... i dont know what am i going to do :( everyone's asking me if im gonna work or go on holiday or do something but im all like "ohh yeahh im just gonna rest first" bullshit. i have no plans on it thats why -_- whatever happened to me. when i was younger i always filld myself with things to do. definitely no school work but it's always going out or working freelancing or just doing more active things. heck! i even did sports. now all i do is sit home in front of the computer typing away on my blog grumbling about my life -_- it's is a big change isnt it.

And everytime i do this i think and tell myself i want to change, im going to change, i must change! and then you see me repeating a somewhat similar entry about me feeling lous about myself -_- what is wrong with me?! really ... bah!

Afater all this thoughts i've yet to even start on my work. i remember saying ONE day, one day to rest. and it's now the THIRD day or doing meaningless nothings -_- this is getting from worse to... much much worse? bah.

grumblings

2009-04-18T02:27:00.005+08:00

ahhhhhh!!!

Supposed to have started on the model today T_T *cries* instead what i did was drama-ed. the whole friggin day ..... oh my God.

How to finish the model lahhhhh. I dont even have enough supplies. and tomorrow's a saturday! Classic Art is closed ><" boohoo. i guess i'll just have to make do. *lalala mode*

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hmmm. it's the 17th of April today. My four months break officially starts on May 1st. i wonder... is the holiday trip still going to work out? :/ Also, that just leaves ... 13 days left O_O OMFG. it's happening so fast. Dear kamizama please, let me pass year ONE. pleeeeaseee.

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I cannot imagine failing, if i do i think im just gonna stop studying all together ><" ... *scary thoughts*

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Im tired enough for tonight. im hitting the bed now. toodles~

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some randome pictures before i run off to bed :p

lonely night twist

2009-04-17T02:58:00.008+08:00

hehehe. was about to fall asleep. when i decided to browse thru some pictures. bear with me, im feeling lonely tonight! ;)

i cant believe he fell for me <3

heeeeeeeeee...

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on a random note, i have another reader! :D :D :D whee. a good night indeed :D

pieces

2009-04-17T01:52:00.003+08:00

it's been a while...

sometimes im just so lazy to write my feelings asd thoughts down as they tend to change so constantly. boo.

Anyways. it's an offday for me. the boy is out of town. and i just handed in the development model which passed on to the final. so today is just an off day. did everything at my own will. i .. went.. to.. the gym. LOL. it's been a week since i've been there. ergh. i dont think im losing weight at all. i've been pigging out like mad. from fast food joints to home made fatness :( this all comes from living alone i guess :/ but still.... sigh. i feel a bit the hopeless at the moment :(

anyways, gym was packed today there were some new trainers *shiny winking eyes* there but the amount of college girls has shot up. haha..

There's this pair of girls they look exctly like sisters but well, by the way they talk you can tell they're just best friends. heee. and there's this vibe around them being so wannabe-ish. they gossip gossip and gossip waaay more that actually using the machines and stuff. but the moment any trainers approach them... hoho, their voice totally changes to some cutsey high pitched tone. bahhh. *eyes rolling*

Besides them, there's this girl. oh yeahhh this girl i dont know why she even bothers to come to the gym. she's new. brand new. on the first day she joined i was there. she was wearing a long flowy picnic like skirt, all dressed up indeed. just not for gym -.-" the next day, she came fully cladded with very little clothing. her "gym pants" were so micro mini her butt was showing and it looks squeezed out as the pants were tight. And you know those sports bras that you wear beneath shirts? i think she didnt understand that concept as she just wore it up front without covering up. -_-" you can imagine the guys staring. a girl coming to gym looking like she's wearing some kinky lingerie =.= .. astonishing. The next day she came. whaaa. i almost died laughing. it was a contrast to what she wore the day before. this time, she was fully covered up. Dressed in a wind breaker, the big type ones with baggy loose pants and some thight baby tee. real contrast. hmm. oh well.

my gym really lack hot chics. then again im kinda glad for that :p

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i see you happily flirting with her. i see you being happy with her. i dont mind .. really, i dont. im glad you finally found someone. someone that shows me you've moved on. someone to end our lingering past. but yet, why does that lead to you not being able to even look at me? i know our past isnt as sweet as candy flossings but still, we had our moments. are you just gonna let them go without looking back? sigh. our polonged silence and my stalking ways have gotten the best of be... im glad i dont think of you much no more. but sometimes on onely nights you stick out like a sore thumb in my blissful memories of the past... i really wish our fate would be different after those five long hard years of ups and downs.

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i miss my boy. am i weird? am i too clingy? :/ boo. i guess i am .. maybe it's in my nature to just cling on to the ones i love so dear. cling on so tight that they suffocate and hate me. heeeeeee... i wish i wasnt like that. i want to be mature. mature enough to know when to hold on and when to let go. i long to be independant. in ways that i am definitely not now.. i crave for something to fill this awkward void. i dont even know why it's there or what would fill it.. i just want to fill it up..

Andrew.

2009-03-24T15:42:00.004+08:00

it's weird. i havent been into facebook for ages. make that at all. not until i found out sha actually added me as a friend.. in college. LOL. went in to approve her and well.. went into stalker mode.

then it happened.

i stumbled onto a dedication page to someone by the name of andrew. he has passed on. i didnt know him, but he was a close friend to many of the people i knew. and he looked very much like a happy go lucky and playful guy. he was pretty good looking too. and the thing is, he was born in my year! that would make him, my age. but his fate wasnt as good as something went wrong, and from my stalkerish research it happened during his gym. and now he has moved on into another world. i watched his memorial clip on youtube. and then i wondered. if i was to die... would i be remembered like that? :/

life's just so short and im wasing it being antisocial and just doing my own things.
sometimes i wonder if i've done enoguh.
sometimes i wonder why i let myself go into the bitter stage.
sometimes i wonder what made me like this.
sometimes i wish i hadnt changed.

i dont know. maybe i should just try to lead a better life.

*confused and lost*

bah. im off to actually do work. it's time for a change. i hope.

all in one.

2009-03-21T16:57:00.004+08:00

erghhh. i wanted to log in and blog cause it has been such a long long long time. unfortunately, i so totally forgot my username and password -_-" thats how long it has been :/

not to self : write all usernames and passwords down on some piece of paper.

*****

Just went for prom last night... it was okayy, nothing that greeaatt cause it wasnt really my prom it was rather us buch crashing seniors prom. and by crashing, i meant we paid for the food. lol. which i have to add, is quite good. hee. many many pictures available. but i will upload them some, other time maybe? (: but i seriously like them pictures.

me and shu went for the makeover before heading to the prom. it was okayyy. i guess :/

*****

Remember the srping cleaning post i had? well, my room is definitely cleaner already but unfortunately, it's just halfway done. lol. for someone who wanted to be an overachiever and finish cleaning in one day.. i srely failed :x it's almost a month already. LOL. whoopsies? ;)

However, this month i have officially crashed my budget to bits. Up to now in total.. i've bought..

1. 5 new tops.
2. a levis skirt which i still loveeee.
3. 4 bottoms (not including the skirt above)
4. a whole lot of makeup (approximately totaling it to abou RM250)
5. 2 dresses.
6. an anna sui purse (:

i am seriously broked. and i vow not to spend any more monies on anything unnecessary... please let me go thru a month without spending on anything too OTT. please please please. i've bee doing this no spending thing for almost a week by the way and i so feel like dying. now i truly understand how shopping can send people into debts :x

note : im deleting majority of my favourite online shop links from my computer just so i can control myself :/

*****

finally making progress on learning some codes just for fun. spent a whole lot of time staring at the screeen just to make sense of them. This reminded me of the Ausmat times where i did Information Systems (IS) which is literally programming and making hack/viruses with loop. lol. i miss those times. altho i practically nearly failed IS =.=" but it was all in good fun. heeeee.

*****

Been dramaing lately too. as usual still on my OTH season 5. im rushing to catch up with season 6 :/ everyone's just too fast.. im tryiiinnngg *runs* also, i dont know why but i think brooke (sophia bush) is just so hot. ever since OTh came out back then i was so envious of her looks. maybe i just like that type for girls. (feeling a little dykish here) lol. but anyways. i just think shes so darn hot, with no other side feelings attached XD

random reasons.

2009-03-15T17:58:00.012+08:00

Many have been asking me the reason behind the shiftings to the new blog. like i said a many gazillion times, i have my reasons! heee. this time, im writing it down, though some you may have to actually read between the lines to understand, but heck. go give it a try (:

1. It's time for a massive change of the past.
2. To let go of memories i do not want to remember afterall.
3. To be realeased from tat luxury of my name being easily googled.
4. To hold on strong to my point of cutting bonds.
5. The slow loading of the old blog.

Five, too many good reasons to move. in fact i have more. but to prevent more bitterness within myself. i'll cut it short. hee.

Another frequent question is why. Why bitterchipz?

1. Cause im a bitter person and i like chips. and yeahh.. i dont think they make any bitter chips,literally.
2. It rhymes in my head (:
3. Because i like it.

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So, sticking with my new resolution to use my camera more, i have been hardworking to take it out more often. Only problem is, im still not used to transferring pics to the computer frequently and also charging the battery. With that, i lost a whole nights worth of good pictures. But, oh well, at least i've got some day ones (:

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okay, so my intention was to put up more pics actually... but then it's taking like forever to load it onto blogger :/ i bet it's cause the pictures are to big and clear with many pixels thanks to my camera? lol. thus, i spent so much time editting the size and putting my blog name into it... and not im feeling the laziness. maybe ill get photobucket. if it's faster (:

seriously, it's still loading! it's been five minutes already! X_x

With the boyf in the car followed by the gang in Old Town

addicted

2009-03-09T05:06:00.001+08:00

Okayyyyy. so i said i was going to bed. Who knew OTH would be so friggin addictive? :x so here i am again. this time with the same splitting head pain i had yesterday morning about an hour before the current time.. hmm. Some things never changes huh? (:

and the funny thing is how some people can really surprise you without even trying .. lol

note to self : become more internet savvy and learn to use the wonderful stuff online? eg - photobucket or flickr stuff. im such a noob :x

attempt to overachieve

2009-03-09T01:46:00.001+08:00

Today... i had a mission! yes, yes i did.

My Mission?

SPRING CLEAN BABYYYY.

was it a success? not quite :/

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So, this was the plan. sleep till im satisfied, then attempt my spring clean plan. little did i know, my usual drama genes decided to pay me a visit. thus, i ended up watching a few heart pinching episodes of One Tree Hill (OTH). After a few of those episodes, i realize the sun was already almost beginning to set. uh-oh. thats when i began my cleaning. oh oh oh! i also decided to use my camera to snap before and after pictures. telling myself i could finish by night and blog about my great success. But alas, as you can see from the title, it says 'attempt' and not 'success' LOL. Simply put, the plan failed. i only managed to clean up one corner of my room as i spent too much time deciding on which way should i rearrange my furniture which turned out to be a waste of time too. why? because after pulling pushing and scrapping my floors.. all my furniture went back to their original spot and i wasted a good 2 hours of hard solo labour :(

That said, i finally took a break and went back to cleaning only a ouple of hours after dinner. only to stumble upon a drawer full of old memories, letters, pictures and notes from childhood friends which i rarely keep in touch with now. ahhh. better make a mental note to keep in contact with them once the holidays arrive.

Well, you see, when one (a bookworm) stumbles upon a drawer full of letters and notes one surely tends to read every single word and have flashbacks of the younger days and thus, extending the cleaning time. all this leading to this one person ending up not finishing her spring cleaning. and now she doesnt have a bed to sleep on as stuff is piled up on her bed. ingenious, no? -_-'

bahhh. with that said, looks like i'll be sleeping on the sofa in the living room tonight :/ ... im dead tired. i dont fel like going for the "group project" work on a public holiday tomorrow. Besides i was supposed to be outstation today anyways. I'll see if i can make it up. if not i'll go after lunch :/ im too tired to moveeeeeeeee.

Outties!

randomness just like birds and potato crisps.

2009-03-08T04:22:00.001+08:00

It is four-thirty am on a sunday morning, my head spinning from the lack of sleep i've been having due to late night "nothingness" :p and yet i have this uber urge to blog, about what? i have no idea. so if you're reading this now, be prepared for a whole load of bullsh*t rantings (: or else you should just stop reading.. here.

*pause*

So, lets get started. To be frank, i really cant stand a certain someone in my group right now. really really to the extend of me wishing for something cruel to happen >:( it's so bad that i think this person really deserves it. and well, i thank the heavens it's not just me who thinks this way. ergh. i cant wait for this group project to be over. but then again, it's gonna suck to be solo-ing the next project which is 40% of the whole year 1 projects O.O

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Sometimes love can really be so bittersweet. sighh. emotions were on a major rollercoaster and we were taken for a ride of our life just in one day. and to think we wasted half the day with our eyes closed. hahaha. all the more, the love has gotten stronger and i hope it either remains or get better. *fingers crossed*

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So, is it so wrong to be addicted to a certain site? XD i'm so very the addicted to FML. for those who do not know what that is, check out my links section and click on FML. Even on my worst days the site never fails to cheer me up. hahaha. i mean, come on. there's nothing better than to know that someones life on the very same day that you're having a bad day, is having a much worse day that you. yes, i think i have turned mean too. and i cant help it :p

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Prom is coming! Prom is coming! and guess what? attempts to lose weight has backfired cause after a recent weight check i've put on weight! :( in all denial, i hope i've gained muscles that adds on the weight instead of fats ;) .. Other than that, i have a very very very strong urge to get another new prom dress rather than wearing one of the few dresses i already own. heee. its a shopping urge and this is just too hard to say no too! i cant wait to go dress hunting :D

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Streetfighter was a let down. This coming from a girl who do not read reviews about shows before watching them. i remember back as a child when my brother and cousins used to be in the hype of streetfighter (i grew up being the only girl in my entire extended family on my dads side) i too got hooked and well, fell in love with the girl character that's sexy and powerful enough and can do that spinning leg kick thing and fireball known none other than Chun-Li. Thus, when i saw it on the "now Showing" section in the cinemas i just HAD to watch it only to be disappointed by the lack of logic and creativity in storyline -_-" in other words, the show sucked just like the reviews said apparently. LOL.

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hmmm, was supposed to head down to melacca today for a wedding which i was not invited to :p hehehe. but due to a little misunderstanding and the inability to be thick skinned, the plan failed. so thus, leaving me to be spending my sunday morning here blogging instead of sleeping for the day trip. I've only been to melacca once when i was little, in fact though im Malaysian i've never really been around malaysia at all. nless you count using the highway and crossing states to get to my hometown, Kedah from here, KL. lol. I'm pretty much a "katak di bawah tempurung" when it comes to being a malaysian i guess (:

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i remember the days when i used to not have a camera of my own. i would whine and be a brat to my parents for not getting me one which i oh so needed. LOL. soon enough, i got one that was to be shared but as technology got better, the once really expensive and canggih camera i had became lousy and well, not as nice as others. Again, the whines and brat like effect began and finally, dady dearest got me a fantastic camera that i oh so love so much .. only to realise now that i dont really need it anyway -_-" why? because i almost never use it, despite carrying it around with me, everyday, literally. and this annoys me. from now on i vow to use my beloved camera more often! before it spoils for not being used often enough :/ besides, this new blog of mine has absolutely zero pictures which makes it very odd considering how i used to be camwhore to the maximum :x

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okay. the splitting head pain is getting to me. im officially heading off to bed after this .. good night! (:

the first of the many emoness to come.

2009-03-04T00:33:00.001+08:00

hmm. decided to leave my first testing post there since it is afterall the first step into this whole new blog thing.

The actual reason why i decided to finally move my blog away from my xanga, despite being a very very loyal xanga-rian was because i decided it is a good time to just start over and screw the past. Yes, it is said that we should make peace with the past so it doesnt affect our present well, this is how i make peace by cutting it out. LOL.

Today was supposed to be a great day. Really, it was. Notice the past tense.

Never knew i would be reaching home in the state that i did. Never expected myself to become that desperate. Nor stalker-ish. Never in my life thought i'd be waiting for a miracle against all hope and signs that it wouldnt happen. Never expected to feel this crappy way. Definitely never expected to me walked away from or in this case, just never appear. This obviously means something is wrong. :/ Time for damage control i reckon.

never imagined i could be so upset and disappointed with you. on that edge of just letting go :/

hahaha.

who would have thought my first actual post would be this dramatically emo right? (: well. okay, so most of you did -_- i cant help being an emofied personnnn cum saddist cum FML addict. LOL. i've linked them btw (:

okays. im out.

xoxo!

testing the rockings.

2009-02-20T02:36:00.001+08:00

Alishia rocks just testing :p