it's weird. i havent been into facebook for ages. make that at all. not until i found out sha actually added me as a friend.. in college. LOL. went in to approve her and well.. went into stalker mode.
then it happened.
i stumbled onto a dedication page to someone by the name of andrew. he has passed on. i didnt know him, but he was a close friend to many of the people i knew. and he looked very much like a happy go lucky and playful guy. he was pretty good looking too. and the thing is, he was born in my year! that would make him, my age. but his fate wasnt as good as something went wrong, and from my stalkerish research it happened during his gym. and now he has moved on into another world. i watched his memorial clip on youtube. and then i wondered. if i was to die... would i be remembered like that? :/
life's just so short and im wasing it being antisocial and just doing my own things.
sometimes i wonder if i've done enoguh.
sometimes i wonder why i let myself go into the bitter stage.
sometimes i wonder what made me like this.
sometimes i wish i hadnt changed.
i dont know. maybe i should just try to lead a better life.
*confused and lost*
bah. im off to actually do work. it's time for a change. i hope.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
all in one.
erghhh. i wanted to log in and blog cause it has been such a long long long time. unfortunately, i so totally forgot my username and password -_-" thats how long it has been :/
not to self : write all usernames and passwords down on some piece of paper.
*****
Just went for prom last night... it was okayy, nothing that greeaatt cause it wasnt really my prom it was rather us buch crashing seniors prom. and by crashing, i meant we paid for the food. lol. which i have to add, is quite good. hee. many many pictures available. but i will upload them some, other time maybe? (: but i seriously like them pictures.
me and shu went for the makeover before heading to the prom. it was okayyy. i guess :/
*****
Remember the srping cleaning post i had? well, my room is definitely cleaner already but unfortunately, it's just halfway done. lol. for someone who wanted to be an overachiever and finish cleaning in one day.. i srely failed :x it's almost a month already. LOL. whoopsies? ;)
However, this month i have officially crashed my budget to bits. Up to now in total.. i've bought..
1. 5 new tops.
2. a levis skirt which i still loveeee.
3. 4 bottoms (not including the skirt above)
4. a whole lot of makeup (approximately totaling it to abou RM250)
5. 2 dresses.
6. an anna sui purse (:
i am seriously broked. and i vow not to spend any more monies on anything unnecessary... please let me go thru a month without spending on anything too OTT. please please please. i've bee doing this no spending thing for almost a week by the way and i so feel like dying. now i truly understand how shopping can send people into debts :x
note : im deleting majority of my favourite online shop links from my computer just so i can control myself :/
*****
finally making progress on learning some codes just for fun. spent a whole lot of time staring at the screeen just to make sense of them. This reminded me of the Ausmat times where i did Information Systems (IS) which is literally programming and making hack/viruses with loop. lol. i miss those times. altho i practically nearly failed IS =.=" but it was all in good fun. heeeee.
*****
Been dramaing lately too. as usual still on my OTH season 5. im rushing to catch up with season 6 :/ everyone's just too fast.. im tryiiinnngg *runs* also, i dont know why but i think brooke (sophia bush) is just so hot. ever since OTh came out back then i was so envious of her looks. maybe i just like that type for girls. (feeling a little dykish here) lol. but anyways. i just think shes so darn hot, with no other side feelings attached XD
not to self : write all usernames and passwords down on some piece of paper.
*****
Just went for prom last night... it was okayy, nothing that greeaatt cause it wasnt really my prom it was rather us buch crashing seniors prom. and by crashing, i meant we paid for the food. lol. which i have to add, is quite good. hee. many many pictures available. but i will upload them some, other time maybe? (: but i seriously like them pictures.
me and shu went for the makeover before heading to the prom. it was okayyy. i guess :/
*****
Remember the srping cleaning post i had? well, my room is definitely cleaner already but unfortunately, it's just halfway done. lol. for someone who wanted to be an overachiever and finish cleaning in one day.. i srely failed :x it's almost a month already. LOL. whoopsies? ;)
However, this month i have officially crashed my budget to bits. Up to now in total.. i've bought..
1. 5 new tops.
2. a levis skirt which i still loveeee.
3. 4 bottoms (not including the skirt above)
4. a whole lot of makeup (approximately totaling it to abou RM250)
5. 2 dresses.
6. an anna sui purse (:
i am seriously broked. and i vow not to spend any more monies on anything unnecessary... please let me go thru a month without spending on anything too OTT. please please please. i've bee doing this no spending thing for almost a week by the way and i so feel like dying. now i truly understand how shopping can send people into debts :x
note : im deleting majority of my favourite online shop links from my computer just so i can control myself :/
*****
finally making progress on learning some codes just for fun. spent a whole lot of time staring at the screeen just to make sense of them. This reminded me of the Ausmat times where i did Information Systems (IS) which is literally programming and making hack/viruses with loop. lol. i miss those times. altho i practically nearly failed IS =.=" but it was all in good fun. heeeee.
*****
Been dramaing lately too. as usual still on my OTH season 5. im rushing to catch up with season 6 :/ everyone's just too fast.. im tryiiinnngg *runs* also, i dont know why but i think brooke (sophia bush) is just so hot. ever since OTh came out back then i was so envious of her looks. maybe i just like that type for girls. (feeling a little dykish here) lol. but anyways. i just think shes so darn hot, with no other side feelings attached XD
Sunday, March 15, 2009
random reasons.
Many have been asking me the reason behind the shiftings to the new blog. like i said a many gazillion times, i have my reasons! heee. this time, im writing it down, though some you may have to actually read between the lines to understand, but heck. go give it a try (:
1. It's time for a massive change of the past.
2. To let go of memories i do not want to remember afterall.
3. To be realeased from tat luxury of my name being easily googled.
4. To hold on strong to my point of cutting bonds.
5. The slow loading of the old blog.
Five, too many good reasons to move. in fact i have more. but to prevent more bitterness within myself. i'll cut it short. hee.
Another frequent question is why. Why bitterchipz?
1. Cause im a bitter person and i like chips. and yeahh.. i dont think they make any bitter chips,literally.
2. It rhymes in my head (:
3. Because i like it.
*******
So, sticking with my new resolution to use my camera more, i have been hardworking to take it out more often. Only problem is, im still not used to transferring pics to the computer frequently and also charging the battery. With that, i lost a whole nights worth of good pictures. But, oh well, at least i've got some day ones (:
..
..
..
okay, so my intention was to put up more pics actually... but then it's taking like forever to load it onto blogger :/ i bet it's cause the pictures are to big and clear with many pixels thanks to my camera? lol. thus, i spent so much time editting the size and putting my blog name into it... and not im feeling the laziness. maybe ill get photobucket. if it's faster (:
seriously, it's still loading! it's been five minutes already! X_x
With the boyf in the car followed by the gang in Old Town
1. It's time for a massive change of the past.
2. To let go of memories i do not want to remember afterall.
3. To be realeased from tat luxury of my name being easily googled.
4. To hold on strong to my point of cutting bonds.
5. The slow loading of the old blog.
Five, too many good reasons to move. in fact i have more. but to prevent more bitterness within myself. i'll cut it short. hee.
Another frequent question is why. Why bitterchipz?
1. Cause im a bitter person and i like chips. and yeahh.. i dont think they make any bitter chips,literally.
2. It rhymes in my head (:
3. Because i like it.
*******
So, sticking with my new resolution to use my camera more, i have been hardworking to take it out more often. Only problem is, im still not used to transferring pics to the computer frequently and also charging the battery. With that, i lost a whole nights worth of good pictures. But, oh well, at least i've got some day ones (:
..
..
..
okay, so my intention was to put up more pics actually... but then it's taking like forever to load it onto blogger :/ i bet it's cause the pictures are to big and clear with many pixels thanks to my camera? lol. thus, i spent so much time editting the size and putting my blog name into it... and not im feeling the laziness. maybe ill get photobucket. if it's faster (:
seriously, it's still loading! it's been five minutes already! X_x
With the boyf in the car followed by the gang in Old Town
Monday, March 9, 2009
addicted
Okayyyyy. so i said i was going to bed. Who knew OTH would be so friggin addictive? :x so here i am again. this time with the same splitting head pain i had yesterday morning about an hour before the current time.. hmm. Some things never changes huh? (:
and the funny thing is how some people can really surprise you without even trying .. lol
note to self : become more internet savvy and learn to use the wonderful stuff online? eg - photobucket or flickr stuff. im such a noob :x
and the funny thing is how some people can really surprise you without even trying .. lol
note to self : become more internet savvy and learn to use the wonderful stuff online? eg - photobucket or flickr stuff. im such a noob :x
attempt to overachieve
Today... i had a mission! yes, yes i did.
My Mission?
SPRING CLEAN BABYYYY.
was it a success? not quite :/
...
So, this was the plan. sleep till im satisfied, then attempt my spring clean plan. little did i know, my usual drama genes decided to pay me a visit. thus, i ended up watching a few heart pinching episodes of One Tree Hill (OTH). After a few of those episodes, i realize the sun was already almost beginning to set. uh-oh. thats when i began my cleaning. oh oh oh! i also decided to use my camera to snap before and after pictures. telling myself i could finish by night and blog about my great success. But alas, as you can see from the title, it says 'attempt' and not 'success' LOL. Simply put, the plan failed. i only managed to clean up one corner of my room as i spent too much time deciding on which way should i rearrange my furniture which turned out to be a waste of time too. why? because after pulling pushing and scrapping my floors.. all my furniture went back to their original spot and i wasted a good 2 hours of hard solo labour :(
That said, i finally took a break and went back to cleaning only a ouple of hours after dinner. only to stumble upon a drawer full of old memories, letters, pictures and notes from childhood friends which i rarely keep in touch with now. ahhh. better make a mental note to keep in contact with them once the holidays arrive.
Well, you see, when one (a bookworm) stumbles upon a drawer full of letters and notes one surely tends to read every single word and have flashbacks of the younger days and thus, extending the cleaning time. all this leading to this one person ending up not finishing her spring cleaning. and now she doesnt have a bed to sleep on as stuff is piled up on her bed. ingenious, no? -_-'
bahhh. with that said, looks like i'll be sleeping on the sofa in the living room tonight :/ ... im dead tired. i dont fel like going for the "group project" work on a public holiday tomorrow. Besides i was supposed to be outstation today anyways. I'll see if i can make it up. if not i'll go after lunch :/ im too tired to moveeeeeeeee.
Outties!
My Mission?
SPRING CLEAN BABYYYY.
was it a success? not quite :/
...
So, this was the plan. sleep till im satisfied, then attempt my spring clean plan. little did i know, my usual drama genes decided to pay me a visit. thus, i ended up watching a few heart pinching episodes of One Tree Hill (OTH). After a few of those episodes, i realize the sun was already almost beginning to set. uh-oh. thats when i began my cleaning. oh oh oh! i also decided to use my camera to snap before and after pictures. telling myself i could finish by night and blog about my great success. But alas, as you can see from the title, it says 'attempt' and not 'success' LOL. Simply put, the plan failed. i only managed to clean up one corner of my room as i spent too much time deciding on which way should i rearrange my furniture which turned out to be a waste of time too. why? because after pulling pushing and scrapping my floors.. all my furniture went back to their original spot and i wasted a good 2 hours of hard solo labour :(
That said, i finally took a break and went back to cleaning only a ouple of hours after dinner. only to stumble upon a drawer full of old memories, letters, pictures and notes from childhood friends which i rarely keep in touch with now. ahhh. better make a mental note to keep in contact with them once the holidays arrive.
Well, you see, when one (a bookworm) stumbles upon a drawer full of letters and notes one surely tends to read every single word and have flashbacks of the younger days and thus, extending the cleaning time. all this leading to this one person ending up not finishing her spring cleaning. and now she doesnt have a bed to sleep on as stuff is piled up on her bed. ingenious, no? -_-'
bahhh. with that said, looks like i'll be sleeping on the sofa in the living room tonight :/ ... im dead tired. i dont fel like going for the "group project" work on a public holiday tomorrow. Besides i was supposed to be outstation today anyways. I'll see if i can make it up. if not i'll go after lunch :/ im too tired to moveeeeeeeee.
Outties!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
randomness just like birds and potato crisps.
It is four-thirty am on a sunday morning, my head spinning from the lack of sleep i've been having due to late night "nothingness" :p and yet i have this uber urge to blog, about what? i have no idea. so if you're reading this now, be prepared for a whole load of bullsh*t rantings (: or else you should just stop reading.. here.
*pause*
So, lets get started. To be frank, i really cant stand a certain someone in my group right now. really really to the extend of me wishing for something cruel to happen >:( it's so bad that i think this person really deserves it. and well, i thank the heavens it's not just me who thinks this way. ergh. i cant wait for this group project to be over. but then again, it's gonna suck to be solo-ing the next project which is 40% of the whole year 1 projects O.O
...
Sometimes love can really be so bittersweet. sighh. emotions were on a major rollercoaster and we were taken for a ride of our life just in one day. and to think we wasted half the day with our eyes closed. hahaha. all the more, the love has gotten stronger and i hope it either remains or get better. *fingers crossed*
...
So, is it so wrong to be addicted to a certain site? XD i'm so very the addicted to FML. for those who do not know what that is, check out my links section and click on FML. Even on my worst days the site never fails to cheer me up. hahaha. i mean, come on. there's nothing better than to know that someones life on the very same day that you're having a bad day, is having a much worse day that you. yes, i think i have turned mean too. and i cant help it :p
...
Prom is coming! Prom is coming! and guess what? attempts to lose weight has backfired cause after a recent weight check i've put on weight! :( in all denial, i hope i've gained muscles that adds on the weight instead of fats ;) .. Other than that, i have a very very very strong urge to get another new prom dress rather than wearing one of the few dresses i already own. heee. its a shopping urge and this is just too hard to say no too! i cant wait to go dress hunting :D
...
Streetfighter was a let down. This coming from a girl who do not read reviews about shows before watching them. i remember back as a child when my brother and cousins used to be in the hype of streetfighter (i grew up being the only girl in my entire extended family on my dads side) i too got hooked and well, fell in love with the girl character that's sexy and powerful enough and can do that spinning leg kick thing and fireball known none other than Chun-Li. Thus, when i saw it on the "now Showing" section in the cinemas i just HAD to watch it only to be disappointed by the lack of logic and creativity in storyline -_-" in other words, the show sucked just like the reviews said apparently. LOL.
...
hmmm, was supposed to head down to melacca today for a wedding which i was not invited to :p hehehe. but due to a little misunderstanding and the inability to be thick skinned, the plan failed. so thus, leaving me to be spending my sunday morning here blogging instead of sleeping for the day trip. I've only been to melacca once when i was little, in fact though im Malaysian i've never really been around malaysia at all. nless you count using the highway and crossing states to get to my hometown, Kedah from here, KL. lol. I'm pretty much a "katak di bawah tempurung" when it comes to being a malaysian i guess (:
...
i remember the days when i used to not have a camera of my own. i would whine and be a brat to my parents for not getting me one which i oh so needed. LOL. soon enough, i got one that was to be shared but as technology got better, the once really expensive and canggih camera i had became lousy and well, not as nice as others. Again, the whines and brat like effect began and finally, dady dearest got me a fantastic camera that i oh so love so much .. only to realise now that i dont really need it anyway -_-" why? because i almost never use it, despite carrying it around with me, everyday, literally. and this annoys me. from now on i vow to use my beloved camera more often! before it spoils for not being used often enough :/ besides, this new blog of mine has absolutely zero pictures which makes it very odd considering how i used to be camwhore to the maximum :x
...
okay. the splitting head pain is getting to me. im officially heading off to bed after this .. good night! (:
*pause*
So, lets get started. To be frank, i really cant stand a certain someone in my group right now. really really to the extend of me wishing for something cruel to happen >:( it's so bad that i think this person really deserves it. and well, i thank the heavens it's not just me who thinks this way. ergh. i cant wait for this group project to be over. but then again, it's gonna suck to be solo-ing the next project which is 40% of the whole year 1 projects O.O
...
Sometimes love can really be so bittersweet. sighh. emotions were on a major rollercoaster and we were taken for a ride of our life just in one day. and to think we wasted half the day with our eyes closed. hahaha. all the more, the love has gotten stronger and i hope it either remains or get better. *fingers crossed*
...
So, is it so wrong to be addicted to a certain site? XD i'm so very the addicted to FML. for those who do not know what that is, check out my links section and click on FML. Even on my worst days the site never fails to cheer me up. hahaha. i mean, come on. there's nothing better than to know that someones life on the very same day that you're having a bad day, is having a much worse day that you. yes, i think i have turned mean too. and i cant help it :p
...
Prom is coming! Prom is coming! and guess what? attempts to lose weight has backfired cause after a recent weight check i've put on weight! :( in all denial, i hope i've gained muscles that adds on the weight instead of fats ;) .. Other than that, i have a very very very strong urge to get another new prom dress rather than wearing one of the few dresses i already own. heee. its a shopping urge and this is just too hard to say no too! i cant wait to go dress hunting :D
...
Streetfighter was a let down. This coming from a girl who do not read reviews about shows before watching them. i remember back as a child when my brother and cousins used to be in the hype of streetfighter (i grew up being the only girl in my entire extended family on my dads side) i too got hooked and well, fell in love with the girl character that's sexy and powerful enough and can do that spinning leg kick thing and fireball known none other than Chun-Li. Thus, when i saw it on the "now Showing" section in the cinemas i just HAD to watch it only to be disappointed by the lack of logic and creativity in storyline -_-" in other words, the show sucked just like the reviews said apparently. LOL.
...
hmmm, was supposed to head down to melacca today for a wedding which i was not invited to :p hehehe. but due to a little misunderstanding and the inability to be thick skinned, the plan failed. so thus, leaving me to be spending my sunday morning here blogging instead of sleeping for the day trip. I've only been to melacca once when i was little, in fact though im Malaysian i've never really been around malaysia at all. nless you count using the highway and crossing states to get to my hometown, Kedah from here, KL. lol. I'm pretty much a "katak di bawah tempurung" when it comes to being a malaysian i guess (:
...
i remember the days when i used to not have a camera of my own. i would whine and be a brat to my parents for not getting me one which i oh so needed. LOL. soon enough, i got one that was to be shared but as technology got better, the once really expensive and canggih camera i had became lousy and well, not as nice as others. Again, the whines and brat like effect began and finally, dady dearest got me a fantastic camera that i oh so love so much .. only to realise now that i dont really need it anyway -_-" why? because i almost never use it, despite carrying it around with me, everyday, literally. and this annoys me. from now on i vow to use my beloved camera more often! before it spoils for not being used often enough :/ besides, this new blog of mine has absolutely zero pictures which makes it very odd considering how i used to be camwhore to the maximum :x
...
okay. the splitting head pain is getting to me. im officially heading off to bed after this .. good night! (:
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
the first of the many emoness to come.
hmm. decided to leave my first testing post there since it is afterall the first step into this whole new blog thing.
The actual reason why i decided to finally move my blog away from my xanga, despite being a very very loyal xanga-rian was because i decided it is a good time to just start over and screw the past. Yes, it is said that we should make peace with the past so it doesnt affect our present well, this is how i make peace by cutting it out. LOL.
Today was supposed to be a great day. Really, it was. Notice the past tense.
Never knew i would be reaching home in the state that i did. Never expected myself to become that desperate. Nor stalker-ish. Never in my life thought i'd be waiting for a miracle against all hope and signs that it wouldnt happen. Never expected to feel this crappy way. Definitely never expected to me walked away from or in this case, just never appear. This obviously means something is wrong. :/ Time for damage control i reckon.
never imagined i could be so upset and disappointed with you. on that edge of just letting go :/
hahaha.
who would have thought my first actual post would be this dramatically emo right? (: well. okay, so most of you did -_- i cant help being an emofied personnnn cum saddist cum FML addict. LOL. i've linked them btw (:
okays. im out.
xoxo!
The actual reason why i decided to finally move my blog away from my xanga, despite being a very very loyal xanga-rian was because i decided it is a good time to just start over and screw the past. Yes, it is said that we should make peace with the past so it doesnt affect our present well, this is how i make peace by cutting it out. LOL.
Today was supposed to be a great day. Really, it was. Notice the past tense.
Never knew i would be reaching home in the state that i did. Never expected myself to become that desperate. Nor stalker-ish. Never in my life thought i'd be waiting for a miracle against all hope and signs that it wouldnt happen. Never expected to feel this crappy way. Definitely never expected to me walked away from or in this case, just never appear. This obviously means something is wrong. :/ Time for damage control i reckon.
never imagined i could be so upset and disappointed with you. on that edge of just letting go :/
hahaha.
who would have thought my first actual post would be this dramatically emo right? (: well. okay, so most of you did -_- i cant help being an emofied personnnn cum saddist cum FML addict. LOL. i've linked them btw (:
okays. im out.
xoxo!
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